Right now I am sitting in my studio watching the wind rustle the leaves, which are just barely turning into beautiful faint yellow and gold colors. It is just sort of a quiet moment right now, I’m taking a break and since it is Monday a blog post is due, but this is not the blog post I had initially intended on blogging about.
I was going to blog about packing for an upcoming vacation we are taking to a beautiful lake in my parents little camper, but then a thought hit me.
Actually, it hit me right after I found a mess our puppy Adeline had caused in the living room (she seems to think that magazines are meant to be shred to pieces – instead of read!) when I had an abrupt thought.
We as God’s children sometimes end up making our lives – or a certain part of it – a shred up mess just like this poor magazine that Adeline decided to demolish. But there He is, patiently waiting to pick up the pieces when we are through being hard headed and trying to do things our way instead of His way.
I think that God looks down on us sometimes and just sighs, thinking that we are beautiful messes, while he waits for us to quit trying to barge through the rock and a hard place we put ourselves in. He is a patient father, is He not?
Looking back on my life mostly from eleventh grade to post-college work, I look back at my friends through those ages. Some I smile about because they are now married to a wonderful spouse and are either expecting a baby or have one on the way, and I think about what a good story God is writing for them.
Some I also smile about because while they may not have entered the marriage part of God’s story for them, they are busy in the ministry or busy helping other people through Christ.
But then there are some that break my heart because they have strayed from God so far, so very far. One is now a professing atheist, one is now a teenage mother who relies heavily on drugs and prostitution, one is dead because of reckless driving. And one has actually raped a girl.
As much as it hurts me to see these things after checking up on these once childhood friends, I can’t imagine what their Creator thinks. I’m sure He cries when His children leave His will and end up with their lives in a great big giant heap of shredded hopes and dreams.
In Isaiah 63:9 it talks about where God is afflicted when we are, and to me, that is a very beautiful verse about God as a father and also about His emotions towards His children.
There have been many times in my life where God has had to bend down and pick up my broken pieces, and each and every time it has been because I was being a hard headed child of the King. But every time He has restored me, life as His child has become sweeter.
I’m very thankful to not only have a wonderful earthly father but also a great father through Christ.
In every generation, there are a select few who make it to the end of this life with treasures to lay at the feet of Jesus, but there are lots of those who have very little or nothing at all. I hope that someday when Samuel and I are blessed with children if that is in God’s will, that we raise up children who will have treasures to lay at the feet of Jesus. I want them to live intentionally for Christ and also in their own personal lives.
We all have highs and lows, we all at some point make our lives a shredded mess that God has to come along and clean up. But after that, we also have the choice to try harder, be better at living intentionally for Christ. It is a battle for sure, but a choice we have to make in life that can sometimes be a tough one.
Being children of God is the best thing that could have ever happened to us, but that does not keep us from sometimes making a mess that our Father has to come a clean up. We are all beautiful messes, only made beautiful through Christ.
XOXO – Autumn Renae